yes, the relationship was the person in the post. It's really hard to tell he is. He has a wall up, I think for everyone to not see him, but particularely with me.
He is young and he's into going out all the time and drinking with his friends , and dating a bevy of women. But he still lives at home, has never lived without his parents/grandparents looking after him. He's almost 25. ( I'm a bit judgemental about that I know, I like a man who lives on his own and takes care of his own finances, his own relationships stuff, his own business ) He got into a rebound relationship right after us. He's probably the same as when I left him. I didn't see a lot of movement towards growth or self love. He's happy-go-lucky, with a lot of anger, dissasciation issues underneath. Almost completely unaware of the co-dependancy and anger he carries around.
I don't know how that works, it's a mystery. He's very hard to talk to you. I know I don;t make it easy myself.
My mom actually said of him " he seems like a guy who has floated around not thinking too deeply about anything, not caring that much about stuff" . It was true. I also blame his parents, totally coddled, living at home, wealthy 25 year old. It's cute at 22, it's getting old at 25, But that's my opinion. He wasn't an adult exactly.
But whatever, i didn't take care of myself either. I didn't beleive that I was worthy, I didn't know/love myself like I should have been. Had I done that I would not have dated him for a year , hoping things would change any time. That's what I'm saying about the self love, it may take years and the lack of it to show you how much self love you have and how much more you need .
( by the way I am considering becoming a life coach and I want to teach this stuff to people, because I am getting the idea that lack of self-love is at the root of almost all dis-ease )